Welcome to MMO couples

Every one who is familiar with MMOG's (massive multiplayer online games), knows the stories of people who are so addicted to playing these games that it costs them their real life friendships and relationships. There are also stories though of people who meet in a MMOG and fall in love, like my boyfriend and I. 'MMO couples' is a tribute to our lovestory, but also an invitation to share your story and experiences with others.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Things We Do For Love, an amazing love story

The following MMO love story was sent to me yesterday. After I had read it, I could not wait for my man to come home so he could read it as well. We were, and still are, blown away by this awsome, crazy story. Therefore I am very happy that this MMO couple has given me permission to share their astonishing tale with you all.

"I was a lonely, 32 year old woman who had just moved to Europe after growing up in the USA. I was lonely, depressed and finding it very difficult to fit into my new life. I had always been a gamer, but had never played a MMOG. I decided to give World of Warcraft a chance. I made a Human Rogue called Apocalypta on a role playing server, and started to level her up slowly. I loved the role playing aspect of the whole thing and was very active in fleshing out my character. Being Apocalypta was my life for a long time. She became who I am. My life was on WoW, because my real life was pretty crap.

One day, whilst hanging out in Stormwind and having an In-Character argument with another player, I met this brash warrior named Kordeth. As you probably know, it can be a rare thing to find someone who is articulate and beyond the usual "lol" culture, and we both were very impressed with each other. He was so smart, so funny; I liked him right away. So we started to play together on an every day basis.

The first time we had "sex" was in Gnomergan – after the instance run of course! We were strictly in character at first. The relationship that unfolded was between Apocalypta and Kordeth, not between D. and J. It did not take long for our characters to fall in love though. It was very intense; every day we spent hours together role playing a relationship. Eventually I could not help but to develop real feelings for him.

Our relationship was well known on the server: everybody knew we were a couple. When our characters married, we had many players show up for the festivities. By this time, now several months after we had met for the first time in Stormwind, I was totally in love with him.
It took a while before I had the nerve to ask him if there would ever be a chance of us getting together in real life. Imagine my hurt feelings when he said: 'no way'! Apparently, our age difference, him being 25, me 34, was too great. I was shocked; he had role played the romance with as much vigor and realism as I had, and I was convinced that my real life feelings were being felt by him as well.

It had been over a year now since we had "met" online. I still didn't know his full name, what he looked like or in which city he lived. Still, I wanted to be with this man at all costs. I did not care what he said, I did not care that I lived in another country. So, (oh god, I sound like a stalker!) I said 'to hell with it', and decided to move to his country anyway. I told him that I had gotten a good job there and figured that once I would live there, it would be harder for him to resist me. I finally got him to tell me what city he lived in, and that was where I went.
I got a job in a pub and started on my campaign to make him meet me. Once I was there though, he started to become very distant: not coming online, not being as enthusiastic as he was in the beginning. I started to think I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. I felt really, really stupid. What the hell had I done?!?

At some point I could not afford WoW anymore. I convinced him to call me and to exchange photos. It was then that he told me he loved me, but that we could not be together. I was worried: was he married? Why could two people who loved each other not be together?

This situation went on for months; me begging to meet him, him stalling me. Finally, one day, it all came to a head. He had something important to tell me: it turned out that he had lied to me. He was only 18 years old (16 when we had "met"). Oh shit!
He assumed by telling me the truth, this would be the end. But I forgave his lie and we met just a few days later.

It has been almost two years now and we have not been apart for even a day. It was hard at first; financially I had messed up pretty bad, dropping everything to be with him. We even ended up living with his parents for a few months. Today, we both have good jobs though, and a nice flat near the capital city. I cannot imagine my life without him.
We still play WoW, but on a different server and with different characters. It is not as integral part of our lives now though, since we do not need WoW to be together anymore. Just last night he gave me a thorough thrashing on Age of Empires 3 multiplayer. Gaming is part of our relationship, it is our hobby and it just happens to be what brought us together!"


Will Gittoes said...

That's an amazing story! It's very interesting how online interaction breaks down social barriers such as age, class, race etc.

Would you ever have a heart-to-heart conversation with a person who was old enough to be your mother/father (unless it was one of your parents, of course)? Probably not... unless you know nothing at all about their age. People can't make assumptions about ANYTHING other than that the person they are talking to is human. And in the end, that's all you need to know.

Once you fall in love based on personality, you've got a bridge to cross any social barriers that arise in the future. But in "meatspace" (a delightful term my friend authored meaning, in "real life", as if there is life that isn't real), in meatspace the barriers to communication are the first things one encounters. It's inhibiting.

That said, when you're looking to form a romantic relationship, sexual attraction features heavily into this. Age is important, but 34 is not too old to have youthful beauty, and 18 is not too young to have the elegance one gains after leaving childhood.

Could I meet someone online, find I rather like them, but become their lover if, when I met them in meatspace, they were male? No. But there is room in MMO friendships, massive amounts of it, to create hithero unexplored and traditionally unconventional relationships. Huzzah! And congratulations on your happiness, Apocalypta!

Anonymous said...

It's an interesting discussion whether this is good (+1 for love) or bad (relationships across generations). If I were him I would have told her my age once I considered her a real friend, but I can understand hiding it when he realized he liked her.

I'm in a weird situation something like that myself. My girlfriend (met in WoW) only 3 years older than I am, but it's a larger gap at our ages (15/18). Meaning, it's socially weird now, but in a few years it would be perfectly normal. Bizarre.

And good analysis Will. I'm good friends with a woman who offered to exchange information/pictures. I declined, telling her that I didn't want real life prejudices interfering with our friendship.

Arch said...

I almost ended up moving to be with someone I fell in love with, which would have messed me up rather bad financially. Luckily I didn't. I mainly say that because the majority of times it seems that never works out, and I'm positive it wouldn't have for me.

All I have to say is thank God it worked out for you! :)

I've had two relationships stemming from meeting online. I have to admit that I had a hard enough time getting around how they really were compared to what they were in my head. I can't imagine the how awkward that would be with a huge age gap like that.